Monday, February 4, 2013

Happy For Home ... But Wanting To Stay


("I love the life I'm living right now.  It's a hard one, but worth it."  - Elder Fox) 
Dear Family

Hey … sorry guys, but I’m going to say now that I don’t have lots of time.  I’m going to write this fast and try to include as much as I can.  On the plus side, there wasn’t very much at all that happened this last week.  No one was transferred.  Almost the whole mission stayed the same.  There were very few changes.  So not too much news from last week.  Actually, it was a pretty tough one.  We ended up walking a ton and not having hardly anyone let us in.  I have never received so many false addresses as I have in this area.  It‘s starting to get a little tiring.  The other day someone passed his address but I could tell it wasn’t his real address.  I asked him if he was being honest and he said, “Yes” but it was so obvious that it wasn’t the truth.  I said to him, “Please be honest with us.  Our time is precious and we only have 2 years to teach as many people as possible.  We don’t have a minute to lose.  We are representatives of Jesus Christ and our time is sacred.  Do you want us to go to your house or not?”  He looked a little embarrassed, apologized for not telling the truth, and said that he wasn’t interested. I wish everyone would just be honest with us. I thank people for their sincerity when they tell us they aren’t interested.  Our job out here is to find those people searching for the truth.  Those people who want to make a difference in their lives and find true happiness.  This man we met was very kind and didn’t want to disappoint us but I was thankful for his honesty in the end.  And I made sure I told him that.  Anyway, we spent a couple of days just walking and walking and walking.  haha



On Thursday a young man from our ward, and a good friend of mine now named Matheus, left on his mission.  His mom is a wreck!  She didn’t go to our ward yesterday because she knew everyone would ask about her son and she didn’t want to talk about him.  So she went to another ward.  I really felt for her.  Saying goodbye to your family is the hardest thing ever.  He’s going to be a great missionary!  He would go out and teach with us a ton.  I’m going to miss him a bunch.

You asked if it has hit me that I’m coming near the end of my mission.  Yes … and no.  Like … I realize that it’s coming close, but it doesn’t feel like it is.  I’m still in denial.  It hasn’t totally hit me yet.  The other day, we taught an investigator and she asked me when I was going home.  I told her in April.  She said, “Wow!  That’s really soon!  You’re almost done.  In just a little bit you’ll be going home.”  I said that I still had plenty of time and she said, “Elder …  you have 2 ½  months!  That’s it!”  At that moment it hit me.  I was thinking how this is my second to last transfer and how the end seriously is coming up.  It kind of made me sad.  I don’t know how to explain it.  You know when you feel like you might cry but at the same time not … like you feel that feeling in the back of your throat?  That’s how I was feeling.  Not because I feel like I need more time to get things done, but for the simple fact that I love my mission a lot.  I love being out here working and teaching people.  I love sharing with them the best thing that I have.  I love sharing with them the most precious gift that I have been given.  It’s such a rewarding and happy thing that I get to do.  So … I don’t know.  I’m torn.  I know that I’ll feel satisfied with my work and that I’ll have no regrets.  I know that I want to go home and see everyone again.  But I’m torn and I don’t want to go just because of how much I love the life I’m living right now.  It’s a hard one, but worth it.

This last week everything was falling day after day.  I was getting exhausted, so we took a bit of time to sit down and talk.  Our conversation was really nice.  We talked about a lot of stuff.  While talking, I realized how grateful I am for the family that I have.  Even though the week was crappy, there were some really neat moments.

As for what I think the baby will be ... I’m guessing boy!  The night you guys will have the party, we're having a Ward Activity that I’m helping plan.  I'll wear a blue tie to it!!!

Well, I have to go so … I love you guys a ton!!  I miss you all!!  I hope everything is going good!  Dad, get better.  Brittin, don’t crash the car.  Kassie and Peter, good luck with the pregnancy.  Belle, stay cute.  And mom … keep on being awesome!

Love,
Tavin

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